Birthday Wishes
by futureauthor13
Summary: Perry never really cared about his birthday. To him, it was just another day, and the birthdays of his family and friends were more important. But this year, Perry gets a bit of a birthday surprise from a certain evil scientist, but really, it's no surprise at all. Mild Perryshmirtz, mostly fluff. Oneshot. Enjoy!


Even with the sun rising later and later each day, Perry still felt the blankets move and could hear the exciting plans of two certain boys every weekend morning at seven on the dot. 'Even school can't keep their imagination down,' Perry thought with a smile.

Jumping down onto the slightly cold floor, the platypus walked downstairs and was greeted with the sight of teal and orange colored balloons, and a bowl of platypus food with an unlit candle stuck on top of the brown 'food'.

"Hey boy, happy birthday," Phineas said with a smile as he bent down and scratched Perry's head. Perry uttered a 'Krkrkrkrkrkr' of thanks, and started eating. He couldn't help but wonder what the boys had planned for tonight. He hoped they didn't spend their entire freetime during school planning something for him.

As soon as the three siblings left to catch the bus and their parents left for the antique shop, Perry took out his fedora and headed towards one of the various entrances in the house. Major Monogram hadn't called him yet, but what was the point of staying in an empty house? And besides, his stories didn't start until noon.

After sliding down the long glass tube, Perry landed in his platypus sized chair and Major Monogram appeared on the screen. "Good Morning Agent P," he greeted, "I see you're early today. Well, to tell you the truth Doof doesn't seem to be planning anything today, but better to be safe than sorry! Go over and see what he's up to."

Perry saluted his superior and then hopped into his hovercar. It didn't really surprise nor bother Perry that the major hadn't wished him a happy birthday. Earlier that year, he had thought it was Perry's birthday when actually it was Agent Penny the Possum's. 'That's what happens when you name us all after the first letter of our species,' he thought as he drove out of the neighborhood and into the city.

But the agent didn't really think of his birthday as that big of a deal. To him, it was just another day. He didn't hate parties (he really just thought they were okay, although he would never turn down an invitation to a good dance party) and it wasn't as if he thought all birthdays were unimportant. Whenever one of the kids had a birthday, even if Perry had a mission that day he would always be home in time to watch them blow out the candles.

He would send Monogram a birthday card, and would send Carl a birthday e-mail (which the intern appreciated, especially when a certain major accidentally forgot his birthday). Whenever he was at the OWCA headquarters and a card was passed around, he would happily sign it. He even celebrated Doofenshmirtz' birthday. If the scientist wasn't doing too much evil that day, he would drop off a card or a small present.

Last year Perry didn't give Doofenshmirtz anything because the fight they'd had that day was enough. Not only was it pretty evil (brainwashing a whole town, even if it is to have a party, is definitely on the top of the list), but it was a pretty good fight too. Perry had never used party supplies as weapons before (and he most likely wouldn't again), and looking back on the day, the agent couldn't help but smile a little. 'Only we would fight with party supplies'.

Hearing the faint chorus and seeing the tall, purple building in the distance, Perry pushed all these thoughts aside and put on a stern face. Landing on the balcony, he looked into the lab. So far, he could see no inators and no traps set up for him. 'Monogram did say it didn't look like he was up to anything,' he thought. But that didn't mean he was just going to call it a day.

Walking into the lab, making sure to stay on the defensive, Perry could not only find no signs of evil but no signs of Doofenshmirtz either. "Krkrkrkrkr!" Perry called out. If Doofenshmirtz was busy, he at least left a recording or a note for him.

"Wait! Perry the Platypus? Hold on!" a familiar voice shouted.

'Ah, there he is.' The doors were closed, but it sounded like he was in the living room or kitchen. After a few moments, Doofenshmirtz came into the lab. "Sorry about that," he apologized, "You know Perry the Platypus, being early can be just as rude as being late sometimes."

But Perry wasn't thinking about manners. He immediately noticed the stains on the man's labcoat. But instead of the usual blotches of oil from working on inators and ash from past explosions, there was a light coating of flour and small streaks of... chocolate?

He raised an eyebrow at the scientist. "Yeah, I should probably change my coat," Doofenshmirtz said, looking down at the front of his coat, "But first, I guess I should explain the stains, huh?" Perry nodded.

"Well, as you probably know, it's your birthday Perry the Platypus," Doofenshmirtz said, stating the obvious, "And usually I don't do much about it because I'm too busy thinking about how I'm going to defeat you and take over the Tri-State Area. But last night, I was having a little bit of Evil-Inventor's-Block, and I just happened to notice that your birthday was today.

"And, you know I figured since I couldn't think of any schemes for today I thought maybe we could just hang out and relax today. I've got cake and tea in the kitchen."

Perry still wasn't so sure. "Oh come on," Doof said, rolling his eyes, "there aren't any birthday themed traps, even though I did have a few ideas. Seriously I had this giant pinata idea, and then a trap involving a ton a birthday candles... Where would I even find that many? Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, this is a rare occasion where I DON'T have a trap for you. So can you drop the 'Super Tough, Untrusting, Secret Agent' mode now?"

Well, it wasn't as if they hadn't just hung out and enjoyed each other's company before. Plus, Doof was a horrible liar, so Perry knew every word he had just said was the truth. With a slight smile, he walked alongside the scientist into the kitchen.

Since Perry was usually there only to thwart Doofenshmirtz's schemes (which were usually in his lab) and leave, he had never really paid attention to the rest of the penthouse apartment. He did get a good look at Doof's living room when the man nearly lost his building, but that was it. Walking into the small kitchen, Perry noticed that it really didn't look too different from the kitchen back home.

Sure it was the exact opposite when it came to colors, with purples and greens substituting oranges and yellows. But there were still those familiar sights. A few dirty plates and glasses sat in the sink, waiting to be washed. A box of cereal on the counter, the coffee pot still warm and with a bit of coffee left in it.

Looking over at the fridge, Perry saw a few pictures and papers pinned under 'evil' magnets (Really, they were just the 'Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.' sign split into three magnets and then a few with simply 'DEI' on them). Vanessa was in most of if not all the pictures, the ages varying from birth to present. There was an old shopping list written on crinkled yellow paper, a couple of Vanessa's old report cards (She did about as well as Candace, not horrible but not straight A's either), some sticky notes with things like 'Change Norm's Oil' and 'Turn off Shrink-inator' written on them, and a small list of emergency numbers just in case Doof forgot them (Which wouldn't be too unlikely).

"Do you like chocolate, Perry the Platypus?" Doofenshmirtz asked, bring Perry's attention back to him. He would've preferred something like strawberry or apple, but chocolate was good too. He nodded his head, and Doof smiled. "I put the cake in the fridge." Opening up the door, Perry held it open as Doof took out a reasonable sized cake... in the shape of Perry's fedora. Even the colors were the same, it looked exactly like Perry's.

Looking at the cake, the agent smiled. 'Okay, that is pretty cool,' he thought, 'and kinda sweet.'

The scientist took out two plates and a set of forks. The cups and the teapot was already on the table, as well as a small stack of teal colored napkins. Taking a knife, Doof carefully cut two slices and plopped them on the plates. "Dig in, Perry the Platypus," he said, gesturing to Perry's plate before taking a bite from his own piece.

The platypus climbed into the chair and looked at the cake. As extravagant as the parties were, Phineas and Ferb had never fed him any cake. Was it even safe for platypi to eat cake? "What are you waiting for, Perry the Platypus?" Doof asked, sounding a little agitated, "It's not going to bite you back. What are you allergic to cake?" Not knowing how to answer, Perry simply shrugged his shoulders.

"Yeah, I didn't know either," Doofenshmirtz admitted, "and the internet was no help, but hey, I figured it would take more than Betty Crocker to kill you." Perry gave a slight smirk, and then picked up his fork. Taking a small piece off, Perry opened his mouth and closed it, not quite knowing what to expect for a taste. Surprisingly, it tasted great! The rich flavors practically danced off his tongue, giving his entire body a slight buzz. He smiled and let out a happy 'Krkrkrkrkr', letting Doof know he had done a good job.

"Wow. I've seen your tail slap me plenty of times, but I've never seen it do that," Doof commented. Looking behind him, Perry saw that his beaver tail was wagging back and forth like an excited puppy's. Quickly, he stopped his tail and gave the scientist a stern glare. "I'm not saying anything," Doofenshmirtz replied with a slightly evil smirk. Needless to say, Perry made sure he looked professional the rest of the meal, although that didn't stop him from having two more pieces of cake.

As soon as the dessert was polished off, the two frienemies simply sat and sipped their tea. "I don't usually have too many problems with baking but I wanted this cake to look like your hat," Doof explained, "So I tried to make a Cake-inator that could make cakes in any shape and flavor. I figured it would make the job easier. But as you can see..." He looked down at his coat and gave a slight chuckle, "Didn't quite go as planned."

"Krkrkrkrkr," Perry replied. 'Still, you made a pretty decent cake.'

"By the way, Perry the Platypus," Doof said, looking at the platypus curiously, "How old are you? I mean, we've been fighting each other for about four years, but I'm pretty I'm not your first."

Perry smirked slightly. 'Guess again, Doof.' From the day he was hatched, he had stayed and trained with the OWCA for about a year and a half, was adopted by Phineas and Ferb and stayed with them for about a year just to get used to them before being assigned to Doofenshmirtz. Perry held up seven teal fingers.

"You're only seven years old!" Doof shouted in disbelief. He then scowled. "Great! Not only do I get beat by a good guy everyday, I get beat by a_ kid_ everyday!"

Perry rolled his eyes. Taking out a pen, he wrote something down on a napkin and handed it to Doof.

"Stop pouting, age has nothing to do with winning or losing. Besides, I'm six years old in Platypus years, which equal about five or six human years."

"Ohhhh," said Doof, understanding, "So you're like mid thirties early forties?" Perry nodded. "Huh, so we're about the same age. I always figured you to be way younger than me, like twenties or early thirties at least." He was going to ask how long platypi lived, but he stopped himself. He didn't really want to bring down the mood. So instead, he asked if the agent had any other birthday plans.

Perry shrugged his shoulders once again. "So I take that as a 'kinda' or 'maybe'?" Doof asked. Perry nodded. The scientist huffed. "That's the one thing I hate about you guys, so many secrets and I can never get a straight answer out of you guys."

He sipped the last few drops of his tea and then sighed. "Well, I was going to see if you wanted to go to a movie or something, but since you 'might' have other plans, I guess you should get going." He looked at Perry, and his voice dropped an octave or two. "But, you know Perry the Platypus, this was... nice. Just, hanging out with you and talking, it was nice."

The agent smiled. 'Yeah, I guess it was.' As exciting and fun as their fights could be, and as annoying as Doof could be sometimes, Perry still enjoyed the moments where they dropped the 'good and evil' titles and just enjoyed each others company.

"But don't think I'm going to go easy on you tomorrow," Heinz said with an evil, excited grin, "I just happened to think of a few great evil plans while I was sitting here, and I've still got a tri-state area to take over, so don't expect this kind of thing tomorrow!"

Perry just smirked. 'Wouldn't have it any other way, Heinz.' The doctor stood up and reached to grab the plates, but Perry grabbed them before he could. He gave Doof a slight nod, silently telling him that he would take care of the dishes. After all, it was the least he could do. Pleasantly surprised, Doof sat back down and Perry climbed onto the counter next to the sink.

In no time, he washed away most of the leftover frosting and crumbs and placed the plates in the sink. But, as the platypus started to climb down, he noticed a crumpled up piece of pink paper in the trash, standing out in a wastebasket of white and grey paper. To the untrained eye, it was just a crumpled up piece of paper, but to Perry: First rule of being a spy, never take anything for granted.

"H-H-Hey! Put that down!" Doof shouted as soon as he saw it in Perry's hands. Perry glared at him. "It's nothing, now just put it back!" Not listening to the doctor, he began to unfold it, but a hand grabbed his arm before he could finish.

"I said, put it back!" Doof yelled, trying to grab the paper. But Perry quickly dodged and then grabbed his arm, flipping him onto his back. To make sure he wouldn't try to stop him from reading the paper, Perry stood on Doofenshmirtz' back and held one of his arms behind his back. Ignore the cries of 'Curse you!', Perry unfolded the rest of the paper.

It was just a little bigger than an index card, and it also looked like before it was crumpled up it had been folded in half. It was a card. Turning the paper over, the platypus saw that nearly the entire back side was covered in writing. Some words, and even complete sentences had been crossed out, but Perry was still able to read it. And by the time he finished, he didn't really know what to say (that is, if he could speak).

_Dear Perry the Platypus,_

_Sorry I couldn't get you one of those singing cards or fancy cards from the store, this was really a last minute thing. And by last minute, I mean it's about 12:37AM as I write this. I don't have much experience writing things like this. I guess I should wish you a happy birthday, or I guess I should say I shouldn't wish you one since we are enemies. I've never really thought about your birthday before, but when you have nothing else to think about, I guess certain things seem a lot more important._

_Really, I think yours is one of two birthdays I actually care about, with the other one being Vanessa's. I think you already know why I care about Vanessa's birthday, but as for yours, well... _

_Okay, I still hate you like enemies should. Especially when you destroy my inators, and when you punch me (which by the way, can you lay off the face? You've broken my nose like five times now!). But, at the same time, I enjoy being around you. You never judge me (at least, I don't think you do), we've had some great fights over the years, I enjoy hanging out with you more than I do with my own evil organization, and, as weird as it is, you're kinda my motivation. I know I probably fail over and over, but knowing that you'll come over the next day kinda motivates me to try again. Even if I know in the back of my head that you'll destroy my inators (by the way, don't take that as 'I think I'll never defeat you'. Never say never Perry the Platypus), you coming over to thwart me is still the highlight of my day sometimes. ...When you're around, I don't feel as lonely. _

_I guess I should stop now, this card's getting kinda ramble-y. Plus I'm running out of space. So, uh, I'm glad you were born. Speaking of that, Happy birthday (See, just because I didn't say it at the beginning didn't mean I forgot). See you tomorrow (hopefully nothing will be super awkward after you read this. I hate awkward moments!) _

_Love/Hate,_

_Heinz Doofenshmirtz_

Doof had stopped trying to escape for a while now. He was just laying on the floor, waiting for some sort of reaction out of the platypus. 'Why didn't I throw that card away in a different trashcan, or shredded it?'

Present giving had never been a positive experience for him. Every birthday, Mother's day or Father's day he had tried to give his parents as a child was rejected and dismissed in favor of Roger's perfect presents. Vanessa wasn't any better, the only gift she had really liked was the Mary McGuffin doll, although he was sure she would like the car he was planning on giving her on her 17th birthday.

Needless to say, Doof was sure this card was a bad idea. He had thought of it while laying in bed the night before, and he had actually gotten up and written it. But as he read it, he felt nothing but embarrassment, and knew that his nemesis probably wouldn't be able to read halfway through it before he started laughing at the evil scientist. Tossing it in the trashcan, Heinz soon forgot about the card and went through his small list of things to do to make the day a success.

So much for that.

Lifting his head up, Doofenshmirtz felt Perry step off his back. Slowly, he turned onto his back and looked at the platypus, wondering what his reaction would be. Scorn? Anger? Rejection? Unimpressed? Laughing in his face? ('Can platypuses even laugh?' He would have to look that up later.) But instead of any of those reaction, he saw something completely different:

A smile.

Perry simply smiled at his nemesis. Doof searched Perry's face for any sign of sarcasm. But there was none. It wasn't a 'Really? You're joking' smile. It was one hundred percent sincere and thankful. And just knowing that made Doof smile too.

"Happy birthday, Perry the Platypus."

()()()()()()()

Turns out the birthday party wasn't that big after all, which was just fine for Perry. All of Phineas and Ferb's friends were there, and Linda made her famous meatloaf and a platypus shaped birthday cake. For presents, he received a new platypus bed, some new toys, and a pink hat that Candace had bought him that was clearly intended for a purse dog and not a platypus, but Perry accepted it nonetheless.

"*Yawn* Hope you had a good birthday, Perry," Phineas said as he petted Perry one last time before laying down. The platypus replied with a "Krkrkrkrkrkr," and then laid down as well. After about forty five minutes, when he was absolutely sure the boys were fast asleep, Perry jumped out of Phineas' bed and headed towards the nearest entrance to his lair.

He didn't bother turning on the lights, he could see fairly well in the dark. Walking over to the back of the wide room, Perry opened up a small door that only he could access. Not even Carl could hack it.

In the middle of the small hideaway was a fake platypus head that Perry could place his hat on if he ever needed to. He briefly flashed back to when he actually did place his hat in there and nearly quit the agency. But the actual hat containment unit wasn't what Perry cared about. It was all the other items in there.

On one side were several photos of his family, the broken collar the boys had used to find Perry's lair, and a backup flashdrive with the 2nd dimension pictures on it.

But on the other side, making the small container almost seem like Perry himself, was several very different items. DEI merchandise, a ceramic vase that he had received for Christmas, the talking Doofenshmirtz doll from the scheme with the leaning tower of Doofenshmirtz, and now, the birthday card he had gotten that day.

Looking at the cluster of items from both sides of his life, Perry simply smiled.

Of all the birthdays he'd had, this one was probably his favorite.

**Hope you guys liked this! I thought of it during class and I wanted to write it. Just a couple notes: The idea of Perry having the vase Doof gave him in his little hat containment thing (I really don't know what to call it, lol) is DarkwingSnark's (She's on Deviantart, check out her art, it's awesome), and the idea of Perry keeping the Doof doll from 'We Call it Maze' belongs to Darkdemondog24. It's from their story 'Agent Against the Agency' (Which I TOTALLY recommend, seriously, it's really good), it's a completely different story from this, but I still want to give them credit. **

**Okay, that's it. Again, I hope you enjoyed reading, please review, and goodnight! **


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